Poem | Update available

January has brought with it a proverbial dry spell.

After a self-imposed break from writing over Christmas, I can’t seem to find my way back again and have been struggling to come up with any new blog posts or poems whenever I sit down at my keyboard.

However, after my first proper Instagram Live poetry reading last week (thank you if you joined me!) I felt inspired to just try once again. It was suggested I write a piece about New Year’s resolutions, and so…I did!

I will caveat this now; it’s not my best work, and I’m not 100% happy with it, but it helped me tackle my writer’s block a little, and even proved that a little free writing can really help.

I didn’t think too hard; I just gave it a go. And now I’m sharing it with you.

Here’s my first poem of 2019; an ode to the New Year’s resolution – the human app upgrade.


Update available

or, You are not an app.

We are proud to reveal
what you’ve all been waiting to hear about
this New Year.
The upgrade to end upgrades;
the latest hyped-up software wipe.

Your new operating system update
has been created with great all-new features,
as well as those you know and loathe;
bug fixes to cease those cravings,
and put a stop to spending savings.
In this new version,
we’re adding an aversion to alcohol for one month only,
and throwing in the improvement of short-lived motivation,
which offers devotion to diets for a limited duration.

This release helps puts an end
to the faults you never knew were there,
We’re mending false fractures within your personality.
(Fixing things that don’t need fixing is our speciality.)

You may need to wait
another twelve months
for the next full update.

(Though we expect to push out and present
smaller changes sometime around about Lent.)



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