My last post detailed five of my goals for the year ahead, as requested by a handful of Twitter followers (hello you!).
Here’s the next instalment.
Since writing these down, I have to admit, I’ve struggled to keep up with them on a daily basis. But here’s the thing – if I spend a couple of days out of the loop, I shouldn’t see that as a reason to give up. I’ll still be trying to stick to these throughout the year, but it’s just unrealistic and unnecessary pressure to try to force myself to keep to a rigid schedule every day.
There’s no point in berating myself for failing to do things which are meant to make me feel good, and brave, and strong. It’s counterintuitive.
Here’s to the resolution-breakers. We’re doing our best, armed with good intentions, new stationery and excessive quantities of kale.
Goal 6: Go solo
I’m at the stage of my life now where most of my friends are coupled up. That in itself is not the issue, and I have other single friends too. But sometimes I find myself at a loose end at a weekend or in an evening, wishing that I had one person to spend time with who will always be free, and who will always want to see me.
I’m not afraid to say, no matter how many wonderful friends I have, and how lucky I am to have my family, sometimes I just feel rather….lonely.
In fact I think everyone feels that way, sometimes.
In all honesty, I’m busy most of the time, and nearly always have my lovely friends and family around to hang out with, but there are times when nobody seems to be free (because they have their own lives – how dare they!) and those are often the times when I really fancy doing something.
As much as I’m busy, I also I find myself spending a lot of time on my own and, as an introvert, I’m really ok with that. However, I’m only human and I’m also a lover of sharing things with people I care about. Sometimes I let my guard down and admit that, actually, it would be nice to watch a film on the sofa, or go to the cinema, or head out for a walk with someone else. Sometimes I just don’t see the point in doing these things just for myself – I’d rather see someone else enjoy them too, and I get to be a part of making them happy.
I think that’s a habit I need to try to wean myself off of.
My sixth goal for 2017, then, is to nip this way of thinking in the bud, and lean into doing more alone. Sure, I already love going for coffee on my own, or wandering around town, but it’s time to take it a step further. Mini goals for myself include:
- Go to a restaurant for lunch or dinner and ask for a table for one, and enjoy the meal – without a prop. No books or laptops allowed – just date yourself.
- Go to see a film alone. You don’t need to go with someone to sit in silence and watch a movie! Don’t miss that film you are keen to see just because you’re on your own.
- Go on a day trip solo – spend a day in the New Forest or a local little town, have lunch, explore a museum, and enjoy the fact that you only have to please yourself, and nobody else.
Chances are, if I know myself, I’ll find this to be a huge confidence boost – I just need to break that barrier and do it. Watch this space.
Goal 7: Meditate
I started using Calm, a meditation app on my phone, last year, and used it for a total of two weeks before I gave up. However, it worked miracles in those two weeks, and all I did was take 15 minutes in bed at the end of the day to clear my mind before sleep.
This can only be a good habit to get into, and a really benefit to my mental health. Time to re-download that app again, and watch the benefits roll in.
Goal 8: More culture, please!
Over the last two years, I’ve enjoyed spoken word events, poetry slams, open mic nights and art galleries. I’ve seen small plays, watched comedy shows, obsessed over improv and loved every single minute.
I want to continue to do this; so the next step is to hunt down local wordy / arty events in my local area. So, if you live in or around Southampton and have any tips, please point me in the right direction! I’ll be there.
Goal 9: Write
It’s an obvious one (hence the blog name!) but important to me, so it’s going in. 2016 was the year I got my writing mojo back; I attended workshops, started this here blog up and attempted some poetry.
This year I simply need to keep writing, keep blogging, keep practicing, and start taking myself seriously. It’s hard work but maybe there’s a book, a short story or a poetry collection at the end of it.
Goal 10: Think ink
In October 2016 I learned how to brush letter, briefly, at Stylist Live, thanks to The Lovely Drawer. Three months later and I’m still doing it – I’ve expanded my ink collection, bought some brush pens, and tested out some different styles. I’ve even completed two commissions!
I want to keep doing it this year, whether or not I become good enough to set up an Etsy or something. If I can start a little side business, then great! If this remains a hobby, then that’s great too – it’s therapeutic, productive and a useful pastime to have!
Keeping this up would be only a good thing for me.
There are a few personal goals I’m setting myself alongside these ten – but they’re for my eyes and brain only. Some things just need to be kept to yourself in order for them to work.
If you have any tips to help me stick to these habits then please do let me know – I’d love to hear your goals for the year ahead too, so please do say hi in the comments!