Today is Christmas Jumper Day – when folks across the country don their best festive knitwear for a little fun and fundraising.

So, in honour of the occasion, I whipped up another silly little poem. Enjoy!

Your Trusty Christmas Jumper

In the dark
I hide away
throughout most of the year.
For eleven months,
(unless you’re keen)
I’m storing up my cheer.

Then, one cold morn,
I see the light –
From the clothes rail, I’m pulled.
You’re ready for me,
and mince pies,
and something warm and mulled.

I’m not the most
practical of tops –
in fact, I’m rather trashy.
Some glitter here,
bright patterns there,
neon, knitted, flashy.

But for four weeks
I’m your best friend,
you’ll wear me almost daily.
To office parties,
christmas markets,
while you’re drinking Baileys.

Too hot? What rot!
I’m worth the sweat.
I’m the talk of the whole party!
So what if you’re
uncomfortable
and looking like a Smartie?

I’m a wardrobe staple,
A must-have piece
It wouldn’t be the same.
Who cares if they
all laugh at you?
I’m anything but lame!

Wear me when you’re
decorating,
Putting up the holly;
when you’re sleeping,
entertaining
and feeling rather jolly

So it’s ok –
I’ll always fit
even when you’re plumper.
Every year,
I’m worth the wait;
your trusty christmas jumper.